Alfred: Working-Class Dementor (Rock-Star By Night)
by NeonDomino
Summary: The life of a Dementor outside of Azkaban. Warnings for crack.


Written for:

 **Quidditch League** \- Round 4: **Creature:** Dementor **Prompts:** 1 - (word) soul, 12 - (song) "Magic Dance" from Labyrinth Original Soundtrack, 11 - (dialogue) "Do you really need to do that?"

 **The Game Is On:** The Three Students: Friends mean a lot to everyone. Write about a group of three! This can be the Golden Trio, or any other group of three friends of your choosing.

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry:** DADA - Write a piece with a comedic mood.

 **Bad Movie Tuesdays:** Frankenstein Island \- [object] Drums

 **The Valentine Making Station** \- Pink: Write about Umbridge finding love.

* * *

 **Alfred: Working-Class Dementor (Rock-Star By Night)**

Thanks to Raybe for the title!

* * *

It was starting to get dark. He moved silently through the night, looking under his hood as he passed each house. He ignored the people in the windows, though their laughter was intoxicating, and continued on until he came to a dark house at the end of the street.

He moved swiftly towards the house; his eyes examining the windows as he swooped over the fence and up to the backdoor.

He opened it and let himself in.

The upstairs was empty and the Dementor opened the door to the garage, slipping in before closing it after him. He looked around, noticing he wasn't alone.

The two other hooded figures turned in his direction from their various spots around the room, as though sensing his arrival.

One by one, the other Dementors moved to their places: one standing next to an old drum set and the other moving over to the guitar leaning against the wall.

The Dementor moved from the door, heading to the microphone.

It was their last chance to practice their song.

...oOo...

Alfred tapped his long grey fingers against the booth as he watched the others set up. It was getting dark, and the event was about to take place.

He was surprised when the Dementors of Azkaban were asked if they wanted to participate in a local wizarding event that raised awareness towards magical creatures and beings, but as it was pointed out, Dementors were just as entitled to participate as anyone else.

No one had expected them to agree to it or to show up with instruments in tow.

He hadn't thought anyone would be interested in coming, but the place was packed. Not even Dementors could keep them away – humans were curious creatures in that aspect.

Alfred watched carefully as his friends sorted out their instruments next to the stage. The handful of wizards that were set to perform were giving them a wide berth, but Alfred ignored them. He was used to wizards, witches, and even a few Magical Creatures acting that way.

It didn't take long for the instruments to be set up, and after some debate with the wizards (or just because they were terrified of Alfred), the Dementors performed first.

 _The three Dementors listened to the wizards raving over a new 'Muggle movie' as they trailed after the Minister at his yearly visit to Azkaban. They were talking about the accurate representation of the creatures and laughing at the similarities between Jareth and Lucius Malfoy… whatever that meant._

 _But they raved about the magical songs, stating that the man himself (Alfred hadn't bothered to catch his name) must have been a wizard, because there was blatant magic inside the song, charms hidden in the words._

So when the band started up, Alfred painstakingly mail-ordered some sheet music for the movie 'Labyrinth'.

 _You remind me of the soul_

 _What soul? soul with the power_

 _What power? power of voodoo_

 _Who do? you do_

 _Do what? remind me of the soul_

Alfred finished the line, his gaze moving around the crowd. He noticed with satisfaction that he had the attention of all the beasts and creatures.

Most of the wizards and witches were looking slightly confused at the singing, and Alfred held back a sigh. He hated that humans didn't care to learn Soulspeak: the language of the Dementors. Not that it mattered, the sound of the instruments and his singing would be enough.

The women were watching, and that's what mattered.

After all, bitches loved musicians.

...oOo...

It had been a few hours since they had performed, and it was coming up to the end of the night. Alfred found himself standing at the kissing booth, looking at the list of creatures attached to the back.

Dementors had been added to the end of the list, crossed out, and re-added. He assumed that the ones running this were either stupid, or they hoped everyone would have left by that time, and that the few stragglers would have enough common sense not to kiss a Dementor.

Alfred watched in silence as a woman in a pink outfit, clutching a purse walked over to him. She stopped and coughed slightly to get his attention.

He glanced at her from beneath his heavy hood.

"Hem hem."

He waited.

"I have to inform you that this… gathering," she began, her words filled with disdain, "was not authorised by the Ministry, therefore everyone will have to leave!"

Alfred watched the woman.

"It is downright dangerous for all the half-breeds and _creatures_ to be mingling together – Merlin knows what you will all be planning behind the Minister's back."

Alfred merely stared. He hadn't paid attention to the other beasts or beings but had no intention of planning anything at the current time. His plans consisted of going to work and hoping for a good review for the band.

"If I had my way, I would have you all locked away in Az…" The woman came to her senses, her eyes moving critically over his cloak before gazing up to the spot where his hood covered his face. "You guard the doors to Azkaban," she murmured. "So that's one creature already there. I just need to get the rest of you there." She frowned suddenly. "Well, why are you standing here?"

He pointed to the kissing booth sign and held out his hand. She giggled girlishly, reaching up to fluff her hair. "Who am I to turn down an offer like that?" she asked, pulling out a Galleon and putting it onto the table.

Alfred carefully picked it up, slipping it into a cash box under the table that would automatically transfer the funds to the Gringotts account for the event, and he leaned forward, opening the gaping hole where his mouth would be. He didn't much care for the smell of alcohol on her breath, but she was at the booth…

As he descended upon her, he could taste the alcohol on her lips, before sucking.

...oOo...

It had been a long week at work. More prisoners had arrived at Azkaban, and Alfred had been pulling extra hours at the prison.

He had struggled to manage, only pulling through because of the joy that he _borrowed_ from the inmates which gave him the rush he needed to continue through the days.

It was preferable to what the wizards apparated in with, drinking their disgusting caffeine to get their own pick-me-up.

He was glad that it was Friday. He had big plans for the evening. He and his bandmates, Walter and Joey, were having a night out.

...oOo...

Alfred floated outside the club, looking up at the name. The Red Goblin. It had been years since he had last attended the Red Goblin, but Walter insisted that this was the best place to go.

The alternatives were nightclubs. Alfred thought back on his 'nightclub' days fondly. Dark Goblin Desires had been his most frequent haunt, though he was now too old for the club scene. There were younger, more 'hip' Dementors out these days.

Alfred headed over to the door, freezing at the hand pushing in front of him. "I.D," the bouncer demanded.

Alfred sighed. He hated when they checked his I.D. Couldn't they _tell_ by looking at him that he was in his thirties? It was the robes, wasn't it? It added a youthful glow to his grey flesh. He handed his I.D. over and waited as the wizard on the door glanced at it.

The wizard barely bothered to examine it, but Alfred couldn't let the prejudice of the wizard (who probably thought that he looked like all the other Dementors) spoil his night. He pocketed the I.D. and headed inside.

Alfred immediately spotted his friends hovering near the bar. He signalled them, letting them know he was buying a round of drinks, and it didn't take him long to return to the table with a tray of Souls on the Beach for them all and some bags of Soul and Vinegar crisps.

Though the Souls on the Beach weren't the same as a lovely fresh soul, they still had a nice kick, as did the other drinks aimed at Dementors.

The three of them lifted their glasses, silently toasting Walter in celebration. Walter's mate, after years of acquiring souls, had finally gathered enough to produce life.

In only a few short months, his mate would produce a baby Dementor!

The Souls on the Beach were followed by some Soul-Bomb Shots and some plates of BBQ chicken wings. The music had Alfred nodding along and judging by the way his friends' hoods were moving, they were enjoying the music too.

Alfred was glad that the lads had brought him out.

...oOo...

It was almost midnight when he noticed a figure approaching them.

"Hem hem."

The other Dementors looked around towards the short woman who had her arms folded and was tapping her foot, though a fake smile was plastered on her face.

Alfred sighed to himself. "Do you really need to do that?" he asked, but she frowned harder at his Soulspeak. He knew that his cuddle-bunny still hadn't learnt much of it.

He looked back at his friends.

"Sorry, the missus beckons. Women, am I right?" He shook his head in exasperation. "I'll see you at work on Monday."

They nodded their heads in sympathy, and Alfred turned back to Dolores. She led the way to the door, and he followed happily.

"Horrible creatures," she muttered, eyeing the other creatures in the bar with distaste. "I don't understand why you would mingle with such disgusting beings."

He stayed silent.

"Now," she said once they were outside. "I was hoping you would do something for me."

She fluttered her eyelashes, and Alfred bobbed his head.

"Wonderful. It's classified so you mustn't talk to anyone about this, but I need you to take a trip to Little Whinging in Surrey for me. There's a boy there – Harry Potter."

Alfred nodded again, feeling important that his sugar-plum was including him in such important business. He would do anything for his kittykins.

She was his soul-mate, after all.

* * *

 _Thanks to my many betas and everyone who helped me with ideas: Firefly, Lynn, Raybe, Jordi and Shannon. :)_

 **Review Please :)**


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